What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
