He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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