So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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