If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I AM VODKA MAN
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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