You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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