Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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