Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
