yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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