i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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