I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
