Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I die, sorry about rent.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My bed smells like the plague
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
