How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
