some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
