I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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