Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
