So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
