OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
