I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
