you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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