i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
