how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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