We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
