...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize