i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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