we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
