whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
