Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
