Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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