Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
