just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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