alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
