I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
