we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
