I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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