Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
