Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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