How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
