This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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