I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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