My friends, they love my intelligence
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Congratulations! We have a period
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