dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
