Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
