he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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