Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
