No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
