I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
