Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
