Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
