Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
