Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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