Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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