Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
