is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
