No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
