She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
