Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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