You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
