so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
