He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Farmville is her only friend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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