Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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