i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
