We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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