Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates

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  (201): Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates http://tfl.nu/tqkf
  Replies (7) Good night (636) Bad night (1226)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry

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  (919): Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry http://tfl.nu/e19m
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (2273)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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  (603): You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular? http://tfl.nu/marg
  Replies (7) Good night (2434) Bad night (681)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

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  (+64): Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys. http://tfl.nu/k7wg
  Replies (127) Good night (3351) Bad night (1289)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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  (814): all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot http://tfl.nu/2zr0
  Replies (51) Good night (7811) Bad night (1054)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.

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  (814): please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week. http://tfl.nu/2kmj
  Replies (7) Good night (3692) Bad night (1290)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".

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  (864): long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube". http://tfl.nu/njsb
  Replies (8) Good night (3342) Bad night (1076)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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  (612): I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/cvm1
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (1684)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!

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  (602): Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both! http://tfl.nu/0dax
  Replies (4) Good night (1444) Bad night (521)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?

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  (563): I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you? http://tfl.nu/ipj5
  Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (555)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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  (904): I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends. http://tfl.nu/6wle
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (432)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier

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  (207): i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier http://tfl.nu/yoel
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (349)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future

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  (479): New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future http://tfl.nu/6z7r
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (246)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays

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  (508): im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays http://tfl.nu/ltrp
  Replies (1) Good night (237) Bad night (214)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015

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  (970): I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015 http://tfl.nu/i7bt
  Replies (0) Good night (246) Bad night (182)

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