Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something! http://tfl.nu/qltt
  Replies (14) Good night (834) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof http://tfl.nu/xt5p
  Replies (4) Good night (3935) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno http://tfl.nu/p79f
  Replies (3) Good night (3620) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush. http://tfl.nu/5pf3
  Replies (13) Good night (5304) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (3058) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident. http://tfl.nu/6tc4
  Replies (13) Good night (1698) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (2218) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's thinking positively..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012 (1-717): That's thinking positively.. http://tfl.nu/r4se
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
  Replies (7) Good night (1306) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it. http://tfl.nu/1bu2
  Replies (12) Good night (1626) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night http://tfl.nu/piwn
  Replies (6) Good night (939) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist* (1-828): omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too. http://tfl.nu/j31b
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing http://tfl.nu/j284
  Replies (12) Good night (907) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'? http://tfl.nu/7fyz
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two. http://tfl.nu/rn6m
  Replies (6) Good night (238) Bad night (730)

Randomize