just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Use "feeling words"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.