Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight

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(713): Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight http://tfl.nu/37pc

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(850): View more from Florida

OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.

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(850): OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you. http://tfl.nu/hptp

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(951): View more from California

better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

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(951): better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life??? http://tfl.nu/fjyx

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.

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(860): You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people. http://tfl.nu/iay5

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(971): View more from Oregon

He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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(971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj

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(313): View more from Michigan

I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

(734): View more from Michigan

hooker boots and all?

(313): View more from Michigan

Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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(313): I did the walk of shame to church this morning. (734): hooker boots and all? (313): Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway. http://tfl.nu/9ht9

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(718): View more from New York

He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

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(718): He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race. http://tfl.nu/hbzv

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(678): View more from Georgia

I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

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(678): I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself http://tfl.nu/rqfe

Replies (29) Good night (2033) Bad night (4195)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween

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(405): Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween http://tfl.nu/jypy

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(620): View more from Kansas

Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...

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(620): Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me... http://tfl.nu/2n11

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

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(781): Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD http://tfl.nu/rpdj

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(613): View more from Ontario

there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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(613): there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays. http://tfl.nu/8dlv

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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(+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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(+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm

Replies (20) Good night (4702) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.

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(617): I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/2ow7

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