Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

Fav 11 905 1797
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes

Fav 73 1287 4016
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(386): View more from Florida

I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.

Fav 44 2214 5934
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

Fav 15 1479 5143
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.

(630): View more from Illinois

just thought you should know her name is kristen

Fav 18 5490 1230
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.

Fav 11 4432 1161
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

Fav 2 1502 593
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical

Fav 0 640 472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.

Fav 1 60 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT