This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere