Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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