sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
