Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize