Me too!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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