Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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