So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
