I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
