I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
